"It looks like she's really going to miss you"

That is what a random man told A (my ex-boyfriend) at the Port Authority bus terminal in NYC three years ago when we first parted. Actually, it was the second time we had to say goodbye to each other, but the first time there was going to be an unknown period of time and an ocean between us. Yes, we were in a long distance relationship, a rather extreme one. But it worked.

  
That guy at the bus station was absolutely right. I missed A enormously during most of our relationship, and I still do. Back then, it was easier: I knew I would see him again. I had something to look forward to. Now, I don’t know if I’m ever going to see him again. All I have is the past, and thinking about those memories hurts. And I miss him—god, I miss him! 

Since I knew I would be thinking about A anyways, I decided to make something for him. You know, to channel my thoughts and feelings into something creative and concrete. This is the end result:

This toiletry bag might not be complicated, but it was made with love.

Work in progress

Like my life, sewing always seems to be a work in progress. I have several projects that are waiting to be finished and finally worn. But life isn't that simple. You can't just wake up one day and say, "Ok, now I'm done." Life is a work in progress. I'll leave you with that thought and with some pictures of a pair of shorts that I'm currently making.

These shorts are modeled after a high-rise pair of shorts that I got from the Free of charge market at the Helsinki Kierrätystehdas event last May.

My treasure chest

A little while ago my mom moved, and of course that was a perfect opportunity for me to go ransacking her closets. And oh, what did I find! Bags and boxes full of unused fabrics! My mom didn't have any use for them, so I saved the best ones. It'll take me forever to use all of them!

My sewing box. 

Hit the road, Jack!

Some days are easier than others. They go by in a numb stupor. Others, like the past couple of days, are hard. They are the days when you can't stop thinking about what you had and what you are losing. Cause the thing that hurts the most is the future you thought you'd have but that is never going to happen.

I managed to find some light in this gloomy day, however. I saw a street band playing "Hit the Road Jack" in the city. They were these four middle-aged, foreign men, who were happily playing next to the railway station. And when I walked by, I just had to smile. I should have given them a coin or two for making my day.

I haven't had the time to sew anything new yet, because I've been working the past couple of days. No, nothing real, just a job that will pay my bills while I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. I also feel like I'm getting a cold... So I haven't been that productive.

Therefore, I'll just post a picture of something I made years ago for a 20s speakeasy party. I'm really proud of this dress: it's the first major sewing work I've ever finished and probably the most complicated one as well. I rarely use ready-made patterns, and this one was no exception.

Recent works

I've actually had this idea about starting a sewing blog for a while, but my current situation inspired me to create Sewing my life back together. A couple of months ago, I started documenting whatever I made. Here are a couple of completed works:

A toiletry bag I made for my roommate as a birthday present.

A skirt that I made for my own birthday party.

If this is supposed to be a new beginning, why does it feel like an end?

I know, almost everyone has gone through what I'm going through now. But it sure doesn't feel like that. The topmost feeling that anyone who has ever been left by their lover is loneliness.

About two weeks ago the guy I thought was the one for me left me to discover himself. Suddenly I was alone in this big world. And to make it even scarier, I just graduated with no job. So you can imagine why I feel a bit lost. I don't know what I want to do with my life or where I want to live for that matter.

To rediscover myself, I decided to pursue something I've always been good at, always enjoyed, but never had the time or energy to do. This summer, I am going to sew.

I have been sewing as long as I can remember. I started out hand-stitching clothes for my Barbie dolls before elementary school, moved on to using my mom's sewing machine when I was a bit older, and then in school, learned all kinds of new tricks. I had a break in sewing in high school, but I rediscovered my passion for the world of fabrics and buttons again in college. I started making real, wearable clothes for myself, but until now, I have been lazy. But this summer, finally, I have the time, the motivation (as I hope this will be somewhat therapeutic), and the machinery (as I recently borrowed my mom's old Singer)!