Happiness is...

These are some of the things that have made me happy recently:

1. Buying fabrics on sale. Last weekend, I went to a fabric store to get materials for a dress I'm making but ended up getting almost 3 meters of totally unrelated (but wonderful) fabrics. And I got these for under ten euros:

2. Scarves. Especially self-made ones. And yes, I made a scarf out of that white-and-blue fabric on the right. Scarves are the best! They keep your neck warm and also look nice.

3. Dresses. They will never cease to make me happy. Admiring them, buying them, wearing them - a guarantee for a good day! I recently ordered three (!) new dresses, and one of them arrived some time ago. It made me smile. And there are two more to come! In addition, I have two dresses currently in the making, and I promise to post pictures when there is a little bit more to show.

4. Nature documentaries. A friend of mine posted on Facebook a picture of DVDs he did not need anymore, and I immediately saw a nature documentary that I really wanted. Now I'm the proud owner of Planet Earth and The Blue Planet.

5. Candles. Even though it's getting lighter every day, candles always lift up the mood. Especially since I haven't had the time or energy to hang my lamp yet. (Shh, it's only been two months since I moved here!)

6. My new apartment. I still haven't finished unpacking, but I like living here. This place is close to everything, and the apartment is the perfect size for me. It's my home (for now).

7. Pub quizzes. I had a project of finding a weekly pub quiz to go to with a friend of mine, and last week we succeeded. And the best part is that it's only a block away from my place. And now I'm off to the quiz again!

Quotes

Some people have already said what I've been trying to put into words in my writings:

"Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists."  

(Antonio Porchia)

"Only those who avoid love can avoid grief. The point is to learn from grief and remain vulnerable to love."
(John Brantner)

“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.”
(Erich Fromm)

“Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.”
(William Faulkner)

And here are some of the things my grieving process has produced:

My Halloween costume last year.

 Victoria Beckham at an English tea party.

A scarf that I made for my sister but liked so much that I had to make one for myself as well.

The 'ism' I choose

I am an eternal optimist. It doesn’t mean I’m always cheerful or happy, but it means I get to experience the whole rainbow of feelings. Pessimists, on the other hand, say they never get disappointed—and that’s true since they spend their whole lives wallowing in a realm of disappointment. It’s like the only color that exists in their world is grey. They are afraid of venturing outside that comfortable numbness.

I would never willingly choose grey. I’d rather have all the shades of black in my life, because it means that I also get to see all the other beautiful, bright colors. I’m not afraid to care even if I might get hurt. There's always a chance that I might not get hurt and end up having something really special. In the game of life, sometimes you need to go all in in order to get the big money. Happiness. 

I strongly believe—no, I know—that the key to happiness is not in avoiding negative feelings; the key is allowing yourself feel, even when it hurts.

Another 'ism' that drains all your positive energy besides pessimism is perfectionism. You might think that perfectionists master the art of positive thinking, but in fact they are never happy with what they do. And yes, I confess to be one, at least in some areas of my life. I like having control. However, I have learned to let go a bit, and a good example of that is the fashion illustration class I attended: even though most of the other students were far ahead of me in drawing, painting, or any other artistic skills, I decided not to care. I concentrated on my own thing and practiced. As a result, I accomplished a personal goal: the best human figures I have ever drawn. These might not be pretty to the trained eye, but they are a victory for me:

 

This is one of the first drawings in the class. It is basically copied straight from a fashion illustration book.

Then I moved on to drawing clothes. This is a test of how transparent fabric looks like.

This is my personal favorite. I know it's not perfect, but it's so much better than the ones I was able to draw before the class!

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
(Winston Churchill)