Thursday, July 21, 2011

The art of letting go

Wow. Time goes so fast. It turns out that last week I had to concentrate on living instead of sewing or writing.

In many ways, last week was the hardest for me. I was a mess. I was sad and I was angry. I was full of emotions. But seeing that A had moved on made me finally let go. It wasn't easy.

But I started healing.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

How am I supposed to live without you?


Today I learned A has already moved on. Just a bit over a month from our break-up, and the guy who tells me he still loves me has left me in the past. The guy who I thought was my Mr. Big. (Yes, I’ve lately developed some sort of a Sex and the City addiction.)

I wish moving on was as easy for me too. You probably think that I should just go out there and start looking. But I can’t. I don’t see any other people. Somehow A made me blind for other men. I am not interested. Too bad that he was.

And I’m sorry my blog has recently less about sewing and more about my emotions, but I haven’t had the time to sew lately. At the moment, I’m in the countryside celebrating my graduation with my family. Next week, I promise to get back to my sewing.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Paint It Black


I finally got around to sewing this pair of shorts again. At first, I didn’t feel like sewing, but then I forced myself to do it, and then I started enjoying it again. And then, of course, something bad happened! Can you see what’s wrong with this picture?



 Or maybe this one will help you notice what's wrong?



Yes, I ran out of black thread. Totally and completely. I seem to have all the other colors in the world, but no black. See all these pinks and blues, whites and greens just laughing at me, “Ha ha! We’re not black!” (And no, that one in the lower right corner is not black—it's navy blue.)


And all I wanted was black thread...

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black”

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Living = loving


People keep telling me to live my life to the fullest. To pretend that each day is my last. But what do they really mean with that? Friends, parties, traveling, keeping busy? None of that sounds bad. At the same time, none of that is what I would truly want to do if I had one day left in this world.

I believe in love. So living my life to the fullest means loving like crazy and not being afraid to tell how I feel. I consider myself really lucky to have experienced real love. And then again, I feel like I am the unluckiest person because it had to end. Even though sometimes the pain of losing the one you love is too much, I wouldn’t give the past three years away for anything.

The other day, I did one of those “Which Sex and the City character are you?” quizzes, and my result was—can anyone guess?—Carrie:

“You're a living contradiction: intelligent and worldly, yet constantly surprised by what life throws at you; fiercely independent, yet desperately longing for lasting love. With all of that going on in your head, it's a wonder you even get up in the morning!”

That quote is probably the most accurate description anyone could write about me in three lines. So if the world was ending, you’d find me with the person I love the most.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Nothing to say

Today I have nothing to say. I guess I haven't had anything to say in about a week. I've been really busy with my graduation party and all, but I also haven't felt like writing. I'm at a loss for words. Or actually, I think my mind is a mess right now and I can't find any clear thoughts. That of course makes writing a bit hard!

I'll give this another try tomorrow after work. Here's a photo from my graduation.